Jun 18, 2014 at 06:07PM EDT You want to be my lover?! He places the bread on the teleporter, and it disappears in a flash of light. Scout: [straightening himself out] So, I did write down a last wish. Jump cut to the future, and a pile of books has begun to accumulate around Scout, who has a pencil clenched between his teeth. TF2 Nom nom nom. Contents 1 Video description 2 Movie 3 Video transcript 4 Plot summary 5 Notes 6 References Video description Engineer and Medic make an unsettling new discovery while experimenting with the teleporter. Oh, I am so sowwy Miss Pauling: [Looking up from the wires] God, Scout, what for? Dispose of the body, replace him with my own guy no later than 4:30 [Spy looks down at Scout, and after a few seconds of thought, speaks]. At 11:31, Scout's right arm clips through Soldier's torso. ", The location of the RED Base is in an edited version of the map. 1 . And this here. ], [The Engineer walks off-camera as energetic drums start to play in the background. At 11:59, the Sniper Rifle uses the same firing sound as the, At 12:03-12:37, the Heavy's default Minigun firing sound changes to the. Mid-tempo mysterious music plays with rhythmic drums, piano, and plucked strings. Scout: Wait. The Soldier stops and examines his new bucket next to a sign pointing to the "LAB". TF2 Critical hit. This is a reference to the "Sword Van" comic from KC Green's "Custom Comix". One of Medic's doves can be seen sitting in a birdcage hanging from the ceiling.]. Can the cook be trusted? Cut to black. She looks at him quizzically in silence. [He nearly chokes the Scout and raises a hand as if to punch his face. ], [SPY'S SMOKING ROOM: 58 HOURS TIL DEATH Cut to rear shot of the Spy sitting back in his leather arm chair. [The screen fades in to a shot of desert road, similar to Meet the Sniper. It is now also available as a free-to-play ( since June 23, 2011) download on Steam for Windows, OS X, and Linux. Fast zoom to the inside of its mouth, and the dove it swallowed earlier is seen sitting inside it. ], [The background music stops and the van grows quiet. ], [The Medic leans forward with interest. He calls Miss Pauling to the base by pressing the alarm button for the briefcase being stolen. I'm going to be dead. Miss Pauling: TomorrowI'm belt sanding the fingerprints off a pile of corpses. ], [He flips a page and frowns. [A bloodied hand can be seen in the background reaching for help. Goodbye. [2] Team Fortress 2 Wiki June 11, 2014 Patch. Look. [Miss Pauling has now removed the panel off of the detonation mechanism of the bomb, and can be seen frantically messing with the wires. can is punctured by a brass flourish. (Note: captions read "Mrs. Pauling"), [The Soldier disappears into the rear of the van and the door slides closed behind him. Some of the witness corpses that Miss Pauling gathers are that of a Spy, a Soldier, and a Medic without a jacket. The head of the dummy falls off as the music reaches a crescendo, and Spy eyes it with a bemused expression on his face. Scout: Hey, Miss Pauling. [The Spy pushes a button on the console and a microphone pops up. 1. - Question? ], Spy: I think it's going pretty well [He gives the Scout a pat on the back as a cloud of dust rolls over them.] Scout: Oh thank God. You know, classy ones. We are going to live forever! ], Miss Pauling: [Yelling] What the hell is that!? After a brief delay, he raises his hand in front of him to shield his eyes from the bright lights. Heavy: [Struggling to keep the blast doors open] COME ON! ], [Cut back to the battle, and the Pyro stomps on one of the tentacles. She looks back at him for a few moments, then shoots an oncoming tentacle with the gun in her hand. Spy: [rolling his eyes as he draws another card] Yes I see. [He salutes. The tumors are now plainly visible on the outside. Cut to Scout and Miss Pauling, who are also looking up at the ceiling]. [Suddenly, the Spy's voice is heard. He glances down to his right, and picks up a long piece of twisted metal with a spike on the end of it to use as a makeshift weapon. A look of realization appears on her face. They enter the room that Soldier, Spy and Demoman are in and inform them that they are fine as long as no more bread is teleported. The Heavy manages to find a Sandvich and leans contently on the fridge door and takes a bite.]. ], [The camera pans slowly with the Scout walking left to right from the van to the table. [He grabs the Soldier by his coat.] The Heavy's bulk is apparent on the left as compared to the Scout's relaxed pose with his feet on the dashboard. Wait! During this scene, the Heavy appears to wearing his watch, but with no strap. At 11:55, the Scout's weapon clips through the side of the bread monster after he hits it. [Disgusted, the Spy slides the bucket over as the rest of the mercenaries get up to leave. Spy, look at this. ], [In the classroom, the word DEMEANOR is now written on the board as the Spy continues to educate Scout, who is busy drawing a picture of Spy being shot in the head. The Medic runs in front of the camera as it focuses back on Scout and Miss Pauling.]. The camera angle is also slightly higher up than in the final video. [The strings rise to a crescendo while the camera dramatically zooms to the Medic's face. Scout, you [She turns to Scout, then she notices something off-screen.] No. Ow. The camera slowly pans to the left, revealing the Engineer and Medic with a pair of teleporters set up between them. Medic: Times four years. He returns his eyes to the road. Scout and a busty, blonde haired woman are standing at a counter with buckets of "Conquistador Fried Giblets" brand chicken drumsticks.]. ], Miss Pauling: [Quickly] You're ready. [4] Reddit I have done nothing but teleport bread for the past three days. Can we do this again? [1] Check the bottom of the product, the sides of the container, the lid, and the necks of bottles. Spy delegated the task of collecting wishes to Scout, who has filled it with drawings of the Spy being hit by a car and having a romantic relationship with the Eiffel Tower. [he lights a cigarette]. I'm going to be dead. Sowe're both busy. ], Scout: Lot of people busy with busywess. The Heavy continues to drive the van on the right side of the road when the dashboard monitor begins to softly beep. [he looks around at their faces] What? Fuzzy dice adorn the rear view mirror. I get one day off a year. The Heavy leaves the keys in the ignition and exits the van. After arriving back at the base, Scout tries to ask her out, but he is unable to think of anything to say to her. At 6:23, a lighter is floating under the comic the Pyro is holding, presumably originally intended to be in his hand, to try and light the comic on fire with. Scout grabs a hold of her and, making use of the dance moves he learned from Spy, keeps her safe from harm. The Spy rolls his eyes and shakes his head in amusement.] The fork flies out of his hand and lands on the Demoman's eyepatch, whose other eye immediately widens. The Scout scrambles to his feet and rushes forward, but is stopped by an uncloaking Spy. TF2 - Frying Pan. honey ad script copypasta The severed hand of what is presumably the BLU Heavy falls out of one of the bags. Many beauty products don . I'm a woman! Dead! He blows into it, causing feedback which reverberates throughout the building. Here you've drawn me having [The camera tastefully remains on his face.] Scout: [sitting up and angrily gesturing] Go to hell, Spy. Heavy grabs one of the detached tentacles and heaves it off to one side, then walks over to the Demoman, who is carrying a case of beer under his arm. Why don't we discuss it over dinner. 2. Team Fortress 2 (Video Game) - TV Tropes The camera pans to a shot showing all the mercenaries gathered around the table intently focusing on his words. This never leaves this room [sigh]. The Medic continues to scream as he grabs onto the bread creature and attempts to pry it off. [He uses the dummy to slap Scout across the face, who looks up at him with a hurt expression in his eyes. He places a hand on the Heavy's shoulder, jerking him awake. Medic:I didn't say that! [He nearly chokes the Scout and raises a hand as if to punch his face. Expiration Date teamfortress 1.2M subscribers Subscribe 36M views 8 years ago Engineer and Medic make an unsettling new discovery while experimenting with the teleporter. Um. A bright flash of light can be seen engulfing the monster, then the screen cuts to black. Wanna do it? ], [The camera cuts to a rear shot of the van pulling into a dirt road flanked by rocky cliffs and several Sentries and a RED-owned building in the distance. As long as nobody teleports any bread. Some mistakes and inconsistencies are present in the short film: The BLU Soldier is missing from the roof of the van during the opening scene, and only appears once the van approaches the base. If there's something any of y'all wanted to do before yaWell. A bright flash of light can be seen engulfing the monster, then the screen cuts to black.] It was released by Valve on October 10, 2007 as the multiplayer component of the Orange Box, which also includes Half-Life 2: Episode 2 and Portal. The music swells from mournful to patriotic. Yes. The hand collapses. Later, the Scout can be seen sitting at the head of a long banquet table. Another jump cut, and the pile of books has been turned into a makeshift throne, which the Scout, who has the Bonk Boy on, reclines in it, a more confident expression on his face. Muffled shots can be heard. Heavy revs his mini-gun up and walks towards the bread monster, firing his weapon. He returns his eyes to the road. Spy simply looks down at him with a smug grin on his face. The Payload cart subsequently blows up, killing the Bread Monster. Miss Pauling: That was so much FUN! The Engineer and Medic walk by pushing Teleporters and piles of bread on two carts to the lab. [The camera cuts to a shot of the Spy walking behind Heavy's back. [he gestures to different parts of his body and spins around] Heh. Scout grabs a hold of her and, making use of the dance moves he learned from Spy, keeps her safe from harm. Added Let's begin. Expiration Date - Official TF2 Wiki | Official Team Fortress Wiki [The Demoman confusingly mouths "post-coitus" and the Scout is nearly in tears with laughter.]. Say something. The RED Bread van's hood ornament reads 'Sword'. Scout: Miss Pauling. Scout: [sitting up and angrily gesturing] Go to hell, Spy. [toss and giggle] Both of us relaxing post-coitus. Spy: Excellent. And that always have their glasses on just kind of crooked. [The drawing is somewhat crude. Screw you, though [He walks by an alarm that's labeled In Case of Briefcase theft, push button. [Cut to a shot of Miss Pauling watching the battle. Okay [He walks up to the Spy.] [Suddenly, the Spy's voice is heard. At 10:36, angered at Soldier's teleportation of bread, Medic smashes the Specimen #384 jar, freeing the juvenile Bread monster seen playing with Pyro at 14:42. With Nathan Vetterlein, Dennis Bateman, Ashly Burch, Robin Atkin Downes. The timer ticks down to one second as they leap straight into the open maw of the monster. He eyes it worriedly.]. 1. [he gestures] He's [The Spy examines the card. Seduce Me! | Know Your Meme [sigh] Okay. Cut to a shot of Miss Pauling on a scooter, speeding towards RED Base. No, actually, wait [The Scout is interrupted by a scream, and the Soldier flies into the hangar and lands on the ground. When the Soldier slams Scout on the table and strangles him, Scout chokes out "Not my fault." I failed, did I? A scene not present in the final video has Miss Pauling be seated at a candle-lit dinner table by the Heavy, who also takes off her helmet. Minusve're not bread. A slow downwards pan to a crushed Bonk! (Note: captions read "diner")[He opens the door to reveal the maw of a giant bread monster, who lets out a loud roar, all while an epic orchestra plays. The Scout then can be seen dancing around the room with the dummy. Scout: Oh [He stands up, bringing the desk with him. Hey fellas, listen! I need your help. It closes its mouth as the bomb explodes. Ow. Shaken, the Scout jerks awake. A Payload Pinball machine can be seen in the background. Bread items will be obtainable by way of crafting a bread box, the recipe for which expires on July 9th. Ooh, look! A.M. Case the restaurant, run background checks on the staff. The story ends with Scout trying to get another date, but Miss Pauling having to decline due to already having spent her one day of vacation this year. Suddenly the Engineer bursts in through the door behind them.]. ], [Cut to a side shot of the mercenaries at the poker table. Spy flicks open his disguise kit, plucks a cigarette out of it, then snaps it closed again. Suddenly, a Red Bread truck screeches into view from the right, knocking away the can and fishtails, nearly ripping off its rear bumper. It smashes the cliff face with a tentacle, causing rock to come tumbling down on the Heavy, who endures the debris pounding down on his back. We killed everyone and took a briefcase! Mysterious [Spy takes the dummy into his arms and starts dancing with it briefly before holding it in front of him.] This is a reference to ". The bar has several bottles of RED wine, glasses, and a console. Fine. Scout backs up as one of the tentacles swipes at him. The bell rings a third time and the screen blacks out again]. [Medic looks at the Heavy, then flips the handle of his Medi Gun. A march-like drum beat plays], [Cut to a close-up of a poker table.
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