Cashier The world is as creepy as its always been, but women have been learning to push back against some of the crap that society heaps on them as a punishment for merely existing and being female. And I'd even more strongly recommend not waiting for her in a parking area! Even if you think this guy might really like you, youre going to have to take it slow. It sounds like hes just good at being a retail employee. The thing is that you seem to be looking at this as though these two people are meeting as equals, but theyre not. is it unprofessional to have hickeys at work? If I were single and shopping and met an individual Id like to ask out I would have. I suspect answers can be highly different depending on the cultural context. For instance - southern Europe here - to me it's perfectly acceptable WebHow To Ask A Cashier Out? We were students and had a few regulars known to follow us around the stacks while were working (one would mutter under his breath the whole time, we thought it mightve been poetry ugh). As several others already have replied - it depends where you are and the (as yet) unknown chemistry between you and the cashier. Here are some tips on how to ask a cashier out: Take the time to start a conversation. Look the cashier in the eyes when talking and stand up straight as you chat. We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. Thats exactly how Id do it. To learn more, see our tips on writing great answers. So it didnt seem as creepy as when patrons would say you have a really beautiful smile. Which I do, but dont want to hear from a stranger. Another good thought in that direction is include them in a party inviteHey, Im having some people over on Saturdaycome on by.. How to ask out your cashier? - GirlsAskGuys Ugh. What the worst that could happen from politely and not creepily seeing what happens next from this real world connection? My advice would be to tentatively engage in a light cashier-related conversation, even if it's just a "Hello again" and a pleasant smile. Thats sad. And all kinds of stuff in-between. Many, many people have posted here about their experiences working in customer service positions, which require them to be pleasant and nice to customers as part of their paycheck, and how unpleasant and difficult it is to negotiate romantic interest from customers when that power imbalance exists (and particularly when there are people who rely on or even enjoy that power imbalance). Ubuntu won't accept my choice of password. If nothing else, it might be a good way to screen for fellow AAM readers. Q: How can I gain confidence to ask a cashier out? Thats a good practice for people. In Ohio, we have drive-thrus where you can literally drive through and buy beer, cigarettes, pop, etc. I see what youre getting at, but my experience in retail and food service was that everybody doing the latter still thinks theyre doing the former. Enough folks in customer-service positions have testified on that thread that they get unwanted solicitations so often that even if you are the nice person who means really well, you might still be a REALLY annoying straw on that camels back. And if he doesnt call you actually have to forget the incident ever happened, for real no joke you actually have to. She cant be sure but either he wants a cup of coffee with her or he doesnt. See thats how it should be and how it generally happens in my world, but Im getting the impression that these days theres a lot more creepy people out there and like I said earlier thats just sad that our world has gotten to the point where people assume the worse first and not the other way around. I know people who have met because they ride the same train to work every day or theyve attended the same sporting event. The power differential is still theredepending on store management, the customer still may have the power to get this person yelled at/firedbut its a lot less so. listen to him, and definitely good to go for a free mean with a guy that's not a creeper!! business was business; and business with her was not interrupted for personal reasons. They have been married for almost ten years and have three year old twins. He is the only person who ever scored my real phone number, and I wasnt a bit sorry. But if he were really, really interested in the girl, might he not go to those places hoping to run into her? Acknowledge their feelings and thank them for being honest with you. An awkward situation she is placed in repeatedly by men, through no doing of her own and with no way to prevent it, due to their sex drives. is this situation safe? whenever someone flirts with you. I got hit on constantly at this job and hated it, but this guy was different and I always looked forward to seeing him. what are the minimum benefits an employer needs to provide? I didnt know there was a section in Craigslist like that. When lindy hopping, it is important to use positive body language and express excitement and enthusiasm. And a friend of Ilenes another pediatrician really liked the farmer who sold his sweet corn at the farmers market. Thanks for your perspective on this Bri because this is something that I was really wondering about. Check out this blog post for an eloquent statement about this: http://captainawkward.com/2011/07/04/blanket-statement-monday-stop-hitting-on-the-waitress/ isn't found by making her uncomfortable. :/. Take it easy, look how she reacts and accept it even if she is not interested in you. The cashier's problem is that she's stuck behind her cash register. I think as long as its very very casual (coffee date, maybe a museum) and said with a cheerful smile (and maybe a no pressure, I dont want to put you on the spot thrown in there) theres no real harm. would come in, sit in your section, chat you up, and if you flirted back they tipped you well but if you didnt, or if you said, I have a boyfriend, you got no tip. In a bar, she could just turn around and leave, but not here. Write your number on a piece of paper, have it ready when you go to the store. Although, if i were you, i would have used that line (but that's me). If she is interested, she might ask you. If you call someone up out of the blue and she never even talked to you she wont know if you are some complete psychopath and will be very concerned that someone is watching her without her being aware of it. I got asked out by a male repeat customer around my age who had always been polite, nonthreatening, was quite nice-looking, and very interesting to talk to. There's no freedom of motion for her. How To Ask A Cashier Out? - Criminal Defense Lawyer Hollywood If he say, Oh, rats! Get to know her (over a few visits to the grocery store) and in the process find somethings she's into. I know what youre saying about the stalking: Ive been there myself and would never want to put someone in that position. A lot of males who work in retail treat their job like the Bachelor and its extremely frowned on. I think the best thing to do is go in right before close and mention something like Ive been craving cheese fries from place super nearby I was going to go with my friend but they bailed. No one wants to be a creeper. Also, I think waitressing positions in particularor any positions where tipping is involvedare especially good examples of this. Im assuming that some places have policies about this sort of thing but have no idea about the policies at this store. One dude at the bank I worked at in college asked me out over the intercom in the drivethru tellers lane and then got angry because I smiled and wished him a nice day whenever he came by. A female cashier was unable to provide the return, though. Where I live now, in Central European rural areas that latter point is the predominant norm. Its not flattering, it makes me cringe. It is understandable how someone who works for an unreasonable manager or one who routinely sides with the customer could be concerned about what will happen when they turn that customer down. I have read most of the answers, but none has found themselves in your situation. Do you think hed be into that? I'm aware that Germans are renowned for being very direct people, though, so it could be the right move to do after all. However, it has happened from time-to-time. I think people should recognize the difference between hitting on someone (e.g. That is a concern I had thought of. I think OP should probably take advice from local friends and ask what's expected there. Try it if you meet somewhere else. And I have a boyfriend doesnt even slow down most of these guys. Whatever. Anyway, Ive taken to wearing a gold band on my ring finger to discourage that behavior, but men dont seem to notice. Whether it's romance, friendship, family, co-workers, or basic human interaction: we're here to help! Its this: Be very well dressed and be well groomed. That person is required be there and is required to be attentive/kind to you and to every other customer. I used to work retail and used to get both hit on and asked out a lot. What are the prerequisites of whimsy? Thanks for contributing an answer to Interpersonal Skills Stack Exchange! That's not inappropriate at all and could happen in a nice way without putting her in an uncomfortable position. Basically, its not the question that is the problem but the power dynamics and concern for what might happen if you reject them given those power dynamics. This is how normal people meet, during the course of a normal day. Making statements based on opinion; back them up with references or personal experience. We and our partners use cookies to Store and/or access information on a device. But what is your advice? Does it really matter if the guy is asking her out because hes acutely horny or just anticipates being horny? ask Some of our partners may process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent. if you go and she's not there, why not ask someone she works with if the girl is single.. do you know her name?? My band is playing at the Speakeasy Thursday night and it'll be our first performance all year. Can I just work in peace without having to hide from horny men? There's a reason advances are looked down upon in these situations: it's not about the no/yes, it's about the fact that the likelihood of an honest answer being expected or given in such a situation is low, close to impossible. Please. Part of having agency and being liberated is being able to say, Hell, no! I came here to say exactly what fposte said. I personally wouldnt ask him out directly, but would drop some hints about what youll be doing over the weekend (movies, wine festivals, coffee shops, etc.) Im a male, nearly 30, and I have been going back and forth for weeks about somehow asking out this cashier at a grocery store I frequent. This is why I always do coffee or something comparably simple/safe (so not dinner, movies, etc.) Meet a friendly stranger in a very public, preferably bright lit space and, preferably surrounded by old friends and family. OP here, thank you, and yes Im definitely not interested in objectifying this person or treating him like a piece of meat :). O_o Yeah, no. The best you can do is wait until you at least know her for a whole lot of time longer and write your phone number down, and the next time you finished your business with her you give it to her with a verbal 'I'd like to get to know you, if you want to, send me a Here's my number'. The last time I was in, I said it was weird we didnt know each others names by now, so I told her mine and got hers and the other cashiers she was talking to. My friend once slipped her number to a butcher at a supermarket and they ended up married. Retail employees have to be nice to customers. You could also do a step in between. For more information, please see our He is incredibly shy about that kind of stuff. Bustle I spent time on holidays (and shopping) in Germany, I am familiar with how retail in Germany, in large cities, works. The guys I know that routinely hit on female retail/service workers do it in the blink of an eye the second they see a pretty face. You need to determine if hes being friendly because its his job, because hes naturally flirty, or because hes actually interested in you. I once asked a girl to explain what she meant, when what she actually wanted to say would have been perfectly clear if we had been in a bar. Theres a lot of baggage (no pun intended) with singling out Women For Special Protection. Generally, try not talking to women with the mentality oh my god I have to ask her out at some point. This is while there were a line of people waiting for my attention. Mad props to the waiter for bringing his date to the party. But this guy isnt at all flirty; hes kind of intense even though being flirty at this job would be perfectly acceptable. When she did, the man then ran behind her and hit her in the back of the head with a closed fist, seriously injuring her. Good thing I didnt leave work yet :/. Resin is a vital resource for Conan Exiles players wanting to expand their base and create unlocks. This is why her name is "girl" int this post. Her having to worry about that violates the principle of empowered. You can only do this is you wont be crushed by rejection and you wont be weird the next time you go to the store. I would even say that depending on the size and style of the shop (i.e. You know, the douche who asks every cute girl out and thinks he's hot shit. If I thought I was going to get tipped regardless (i.e., they were with a group and split checks, etc.) Oh gosh students. There is nothing in OP's post to suggest for example that he lives in a large city where the cashier is expected to be little more than a machine element. I mean if I forgot something I wouldve just gone in and said, I forgot this and say my goodbyes again. I couldnt agree more. I dated someone for 5 years he was a customer who asked me out. Your lindy hop can lead to a special moment for both of you, making the experience more memorable. I would be so creeped out if someone I was unfamiliar with asked me to stop by their home, even if they phrased it as a party invite. We didnt mean anything by it, it was just a way to break up the tedium. She could say yes, no, or not respond to the question. I guess the sexy librarian thing does not help in that respect either :(((. This was an attractive chick asking about his day, a little more than the usual perfunctory interaction. Oh man! Ok but how do I do this without coming off as a creeper? WebOriginally Answered: How do you ask a (girl) cashier out? If she perks up and looks interested, you can respond with something like. with a side of awkward (sorry, I play for team rainbow, but good luck to you). I was actually a little traumatized by Alisons advice (although I do really appreciate that she replied and has provided a forum for others to respond) and the first couple of comments (this was much earlier today-I was shocked to see all of the responses that are here now and have just started going through them), so I stopped by a female friends shop today to ask her advice. Or, just be a little more obvious about YOUR flirting; hang there beside him just to talk to him, and then watch is body language; is he glad of it, or does he start to get antsy or pull away after a polite interval. And don't stand somewhere waiting for her to take her smoke break, only do this if you naturally happen to pass by her having one. What does it mean when the girl changes her number after bre My ex gf stood me up. Al Haitham Genshin is an accomplished actor, producer, and media personality from India. I wanted to ask her out or leave a note but last couple times I get super nervous when I'm about to do it. I had to go back to the store later that week to pick something up. It did not go well. And what do you think about customers asking out your employees? Working retail, this happens so, so frequently that it stops being flattering and becomes another work annoyance that you have to deal with, plus the unease of not knowing how someone is going to react if you reject them. These guys write Odes of Undying Love and Devotion to the people who make their coffee every morning, and generally feel like its reciprocated because they smile at me every time I come in. Or if you buy a bottle of wine, you can ask her about it. Contact the financial institution that the cashiers check was issued from to find out if its valid. My rule is simple. Think of it this way: can you think of someone you think is genuinely rather awful? And this is an obvious double standard but I think its less of a big deal because the manager in question is male. How to ask a store clerk to leave you alone without being rude? At my local supermarket, some of the cashiers take smoke breaks near the public the entrance of the supermarket. If she did say "no" or not respond, after that interaction as you continue to go to the market, just behave casually as you normally would and if you go through her line be polite and friendly but with no expectations. Asking a cashier out is not always an easy prospect. Google Schrodingers rapist if you want the full scoop. Haha well I plan on it next time I see her working, but idk her work schedule thats the only thing stopping me. Flirting is fun! Granted, yes I loved talking about video games. A phone number may be voluntarily given later, but should be asked for by saying "hey, I'd like to stay in touch with you" and let her choose out of the variety of contact methods that exist today. Thats how its been done forfreakingever. I dont know; its easy enough to say, Im sorry, I have a policy of not dating coworkers/customers. If your work doesnt allow it, thats an even easier out. They can't just go around giving in to anyone, they have to be picky. Some talking must have occured behind the scenes Much later, she told me she was married. Ive seen you in here a lot and you seem like the type of person I would like to get to know in real life. There's a strong bias against guys bothering random girls in shops with requests for dates (speaking from experience). Im married, so I definitely wasnt going to ask out the cute liquor store employee who likes the same kind of beer I like anyway. Act normal. Only ask the gent out during his break or free time. That's borderline stalking. Women arent delicate flowers and men, as a gender whole, arent big scary monsters. Shed been going to the coffee shop for several months, and he was really friendly every time they talked, complimenting her on safe topics like her manicure, etc. Again, only partake this if it genuinely is by chance. Can you help me?" For example: "I like to grab lunch here before going to [Public Event You Enjoy]". It was awkward, but I realize now that Im probably better off. That fact can confuse the romantic, so special handling is required. I ran into him one time outside of work and he talked to me most of the night while his girlfriend sat in the corner and pouted. (gives performance flyer). While I've known this girl she has blocked or otherwise shut out countless guys trying the same thing and that could easily have been me as well. Then later on phone jobs I got asked out every once in a while and used the same excuse. WebTalk about what you're going to make with your items. A man then became irate, police said and waited for the cashier to walk away. Frankly, lots of social interactions make me feel a little weird or uncomfortable, but theyre totally normal and acceptable interactions nonetheless, and I dont think my discomfort always reflects negatively on the people doing the initiating. She Doesnt Owe You Shit The employee feels panicked and caught between a rock and a hard place, like he may not be able to turn the customer down without pulling down the wrath of management, and what had been a friendly encounter now turns into a recurring nauseating anxiety. But you know what? I have a boyfriend. The women always gave me their number and let it be known they werent doing anything on Thursday or whatever. Here's where you'll go wrong, due to these butterflies, oh man -. But if she's more sensitive, even this will upset her, freak her out and make her uncomfortable every time she has to help you again. Thats a pointas the OP is gauging this guys interest, she should observe how he acts with other customers. If you naturally pass by there, it may be OK to stop for chit-chat. We met a few more times for drinks and visiting expos but no further attraction developed, so nothing else happened. In 2022, women earned an average of 82% of what men earned, according to a new Pew Research Center analysis of median hourly earnings of both full- and part-time workers. I know you get tips at chipotle, but thats a bonus thats split by everyone in the restaurant, not the source of your income. Having people try to flirt or ask me out when I was behind a cash register was the worst. I love that show, I wish they would bring it back. If you know Learn more about Stack Overflow the company, and our products. Put yourself somewhere that she might be out of work. I've never seen you before." How to get to know a service staff without interrupting her work? Also regarding not having much time because there's a lineup. I have to admit I had NO idea that this was a *thing* with retail employees. Its not about all men being big scary monsters, its about trying to avoid situations that put you at a disadvantage in case someone does turn out to be a monster. That's a pretty good indication something's happening. After about 2 There is also the fact that their job hinges on them being nice to everyone- also a power issue. Last sentence should read: Id be flattered, even if I was NOT interested. I agree. Thank you for the follow-up. You might even ask them to simply repeat what they said. Unless hes specifically told you about these things, you dont know whats going on in the background for him, and what it might raise. But those of us who are normal dont actually do anything. It is a safe bet that they're all just doing their job. At a bar, after church, at an event where you share a mutual interest, go for it! Please dont hit on the poor schmuck who has to be nice to you or get fired. And of course, a lot of people would prefer not to field come-ons while theyre working. Please have some respect and let me have my JOB as a safe space! Start with neutral topics (the weather is an evergreen) and see what her response is. Having worked retail as a female, being asked out is one of the most annoying things that can happen to a person, it can go as far as making her feel unsafe. Ask her out. Female Cashier Don't make it awkward. This is coming from a womans perspective, so take it with a grain of salt. Because of that, it can be easy to I was watching the whole scene unfold and he was trying his best to extend his little chat with her by just grasping at whatever topic he could think of in this sheepish, gigglish tone, and her simple responses back to him without breaking a smile, while also ringing out my items. Just be subtle about it and see where it goes. Or, to put it more pithily, as this linked post full of citations says in its title, Mythcommunication: Its Not That They Dont Understand, They Just Dont Like The Answer Because of that, it can be easy to mistakenly misinterpret them doing their job (being nice to you) as social/romantic interest. But its not an ideal world and sexual entitlement doesnt always come in obvious, high pressure, sexually explicit packages. People should use common sense caution. You never know! Nope nope nope never ok. Needless to say, I got hit on a LOT. That is, Cheese Guy was not an 18 year old cashier, he was the cheese manager for the chain. You don't want to be banned for harassing employees who didn't want to date you. Slightly OT but those ads were my free entertainment when I was unemployed. Probably about a 95% chance she either is already partnered or not looking, for some good reasons you can't override. NC for a month already, I dont think shes coming back. He came and then asked me on a date afterward. I dont think most men handle being turned down poorly. Privacy Policy and Affiliate Disclosures, I own a game store with a terrible manager who I'm afraid to fire. I had a long conversation with a nice guy at a mom-and-pop camera store, and I felt intrigued. not into you, unless you look very good. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. Were not talking about sexual harassment, for heavens sake, its coffee (or actually, better causal ideas downstream). Again, Yes, this. You could try asking them out if you happened to run into them outside of work, however, they know who you are so it still makes it awkward if you go back to where they work. You should try it sometime. so if said gentleman wishes to run into you outside of work he would have a pretty good idea of how to do so. Its not *dating* phobia per se its management phobia. He also said if that he would be interested in going out with me if they actually broke up. Speaking of which, if someone at workcustomer or coworkerasks you out, and you dont want to go, EFFING SAY SO. and after a few encounters we started really talking if there was no other customers around. (sorry if posting links is not ok; its a Captain Awkward post entitled, Blanket Statement: Stop Hitting on the Waitress so you could google that. How Old Is Al Haitham Genshin?
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