a million ways to die in the west mustache quotes

He knows how to make people laugh, as demonstrated in his Family Guy TV series, his movie smash Ted and in sporadic moments of his gig hosting the Oscars last year. There is an unrated, Extended Cut available, approximately 20 minutes longer. 1:31. 14. presentation-ready copies of Toronto Star content for distribution And then, for a good reason, Albert gets dumped by his charming girlfriend, Louise, only to fall head over heels in love with the intriguingly mysterious, horse-riding and pistol-packing stranger, Anna. Albert: Oh, f*** that. It found more than 1,100 deaths a year from climate change-caused heat in . A Million Ways to Die in the West - Wikipedia Entertainment Weekly is a registered trademark of Meredith Corporation All Rights Reserved. When the rivalry leads to a duel, he gets help from an unexpected, beautiful source. You know, like snakes. Seth MacFarlane's western spoof A Million Ways to Die in the West includes nods to such genre classics as The Searchers and Unforgiven. 2014 Back Lot Music. At a recent press conference held in Los . The men who were courageous and resilient were the men who prospered. The one thing a sheep farmer has to do is keep all of the sheep in one place, all right? Anna: Oh, thank God, 'cause I was like ah [mimics gun to her head] , kill me. It stunts their attention span. Making a splash: A deep dive into the live-action Little Mermaid with a new generation's Ariel. rights reserved. 1882. We Should All Just Wear Coffins As Clothes, Tinker Bell and the Legend of the NeverBeast, Psycho (The Complete Original Motion Picture Score), A Million Ways To Die In the West (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack), Bernard Herrmann: The Twilight Zone Conducted By Joel McNeely (Music From Television Series), Star Wars: Shadows of the Empire (Original Soundtrack), X-Men: Days of Future Past - Rogue Cut (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack) [Extended Version], The Imitation Game (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack), 007: Casino Royale (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack) [Deluxe Version]. Edward: Please don't shoot us on sex night. Edward: Hey, dude, you really shouldn't drink and horse. Seth MacFarlane, Amanda Seyfried, Charlize Theron. Sign in to rate and Watchlist for personalized recommendations. Old Stump Bluegrass. . Albert: [At target practice] I fired a gun at the shooting gallery. Anna and Albert. A Million Ways to Die in the West - CD | Barnes & Noble Apple Inc. 10 Funniest Quotes From A Million Ways To Die In The West Albert: She moved to town a couple of years ago to take over the schoolmarm job. Copyright 2023 Meredith Corporation. Toronto Star articles, please go to: www.TorontoStarReprints.com, Conversations are opinions of our readers and are subject to the, The Toronto Star and thestar.com, each property of Toronto Star When a mysterious and beautiful woman rides into town, she helps him find his courage and they begin to fall in love. Amick Byram. No better way to make your ex-girlfriend want you back more than to let her see you with another girl. When she sees me, she'll be intimidated as f***. A Million Ways to Die in the West | Apple TV A Million Ways To Die In the West (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack If MacFarlane had spent as much time crafting jokes as he did writing the lyrics for the amusing title tune (sung by country ace Alan Jackson) and the catchy mid-film number The Mustache Song, A Million Ways to Die in the West would have been a much better movie. Listen to "A Million Ways to Die" below and let us know what you think. Unexpectedly, Anna and Albert have a genuine connection--and as our unassuming hero learns the fundamentals of survival in the inhospitable wild west--an ironic, yet grave challenge against an unforeseen and mighty adversary demands that he puts to the test his newly found abilities. Hell, this was Miss America in 1880 [picture of a leathery middle-aged woman] . Copyright 2023 Then the mysterious Anna rides into town and captures Albert's interest and heart, but with her deadly husband in town, Albert is going to have to become the western gun-slinging hero he never was. But, just how many ways to die are there in the west? Watch A Million Ways To Die In The West: Anna Tries To Teach Albert How To Shoot, Watch A Million Ways To Die In The West: Foy Mocks Albert On Their Way To The Shooting Gallery, Watch A Million Ways To Die In The West: Anna Meets Albert At The Dance. Albert: You know, there are a million ways to die in the west, Clinch. As a very loose rendition of historical fiction, it requires an ability to enjoy the suspension of belief in order to appreciate the humor, as well as an ability to look past the few offensive remarks to that are both poignant stabs at the time period as well as timely interpretations of . Albert recklessly challenges Foy to a gunfight a week hence, even though the hapless sheep minder literally cant shoot to save his life. September 9, 2014 One of A Million Ways to Die in the West is to give away all your jokes in the promos leading up to your film's debut. Our old schoolmarm got her throat slit by a fast moving tumbleweed. 2 likes. McNeely bases his playful and robust score on classic silver screen-era Westerns, offering up a pastiche that's both reverent and self-aware, while the theme song, which is performed by Alan Jackson, and "If You've Only Got a Mustache," the latter of which is performed by Grammy-nominated American tenor Amick Byram, are as goofy as they are . 33%. Anna: I'm a little cocky. Stay up-to-date on all the latest Rotten Tomatoes news! A Million Ways to Die in the West: Official Clip - Great Scott. When the rivalry leads to a duel, he gets help from an unexpected, beautiful source. Like. Vulgar, crude, self-referential, and irreverent, A Million Ways to Die in the West is a typical Seth MacFarlane comedy. Well, it was still good though. [Stark comes running around the corner and falls and his face]. A Million Waysto Die in the West is a gross-out Gunsmoke, with MacFarlane directing an old-timey facsimile of his modern self in the lead role of Albert, a cowardly sheep herder in the Arizona of 1882. Albert: It's just another way God mysteriously shows that He loves us. This version also has even more footage in deleted scenes, and an alternate beginning and ending. 1, Independence Day: Resurgence (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack), Hail, Caesar! A Million Ways to Die in the West / Trivia - TV Tropes All A Million Ways to Die in the West Videos A Million Ways to Die in the West: Trailer 1 2:30 Added: January 19, 2017 A Million Ways to Die in the West: Official Clip - Ways to Die 2:24 Added . Albert Stark, a mild mannered sheep farmer living outside of Old Stump, Arizona, hates everything about living in this time and place, especially the literally million ways he and others can easily die every day without a care, from shoot-outs, to bar brawls, to bites by rattlesnakes hiding in outhouses, to affliction by any one of numerous untreatable plagues and pestilences. Albert: Oh my god, please! Not only did he adapt a song from the period, but he also hired a veteran choreographer and an army of Broadway dancers for the sequence. As Albert and Anna start to fall for each other in the process, Anna has to decide if and when she will tell him the truth: that she is already married, albeit unhappily, to Clinch Leatherwood, a vicious outlaw who, along with his gang, she and Lewis are waiting for in Old Stump. 116 minutes. He is also not adept at shooting guns, which makes the death by shoot-outs even more likely, and is the reason why he cowers out of a shoot-out with someone to whom he owes money. It's Me, Margaret. 'A Million Ways to Die in the West': Inside the 'Mustache Song' Constantly terrified, the meek and lily-livered sheep farmer, Albert Stark, mainly struggles to stay out of trouble in dusty and dangerous 1880s Arizona, utterly convinced that everything out there can and will kill him. A Million Ways to Die in the West is not for everyone. Anna: I mean we're basically splitting this country 50/50 with them. Halle Bailey, Melissa McCarthy, and director Rob Marshall share the tale behind making their underwater musical with a groundbreaking Disney princess. Directed by Seth MacFarlane. By creating an account, you agree to the I'm not going to the stupid fair. There was a sheep in the whorehouse the last week. Albert: Okay, that's Bridget, all right? However, a pistol-packing woman named Anna (Theron) rides into town and helps Albert find his inner courage. May 29, 2014. Anna vows to help Albert with many issues in his life, most specifically in getting Louise back largely by pretending to be his girlfriend to make Louise jealous, and learning how to shoot in what ends up being a challenge to a shoot-out with Foy for Louise's hand. Yet the screenplay he penned with Family Guy/Ted hands Alec Sulkin and Wellesley Wild is slapdash at best. Anna: There is something about connecting over mutual hatred that is just so much deeper than mutual love. Albert: The guy is one of the best shots around. A Million Ways to Die in the West is a 2014 American western comedy film directed by Seth MacFarlane, who wrote the screenplay with Alec Sulkin and Wellesley Wild. There's, uh, famine, disease, gunfights. On the other hand, Albert also has to find the gunslinging skill in order to battle Louise's new boyfriend - the cocky and wealthy Foy (Neil Patrick Harris) - in a shootout in front of the entire town. He followed up Ted with 2014's A Million Ways to Die in the West, a spoof of westerns pointing out just how bleak and unromantic life in the Old West would've been. The one where EW follows up with the cast. permissions/licensing, please go to: www.TorontoStarReprints.com, Starring Seth MacFarlane, Charlize Theron, Liam Neeson, Neil Patrick Harris, Amanda Seyfried, Sarah Silverman and Giovanni Ribisi. Republication or distribution of this content is The film was released on May 30, 2014, in the United States, and distributed worldwide by Universal Pictures. MacFarlane deserve some credit for allowing Theron to upstage him, sometimes just with a knowing look. If you can get a song in there, its just a nice Hollywood tradition.. Louise: [flustered] They're not that big. A Million Ways to Die in the West hits theaters on May 30. After his directorial debut Ted was widely praised by critics and became one of the highest-grossing R-rated comedies ever made, Family Guy creator Seth MacFarlane had the freedom to do whatever he wanted with . Updated at 22nd July 2015 by rearranging the order of some entries: What is the Japanese language plot outline for A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)? To order copies of MacFarlane certainly seems to embrace this contradiction. Her "it's not you, it's me" reason rings false as she quickly starts up with mustachioed Foy, the wealthy owner of a mustache grooming products store, he who Albert knows he cannot compete in not being wealthy enough to be able to grow a groomed mustache. Apple Inc. All you need is a little bit of the venom introduced into your bloodstream and you're pretty much screwed. PREVIEW. And in director/co-writer/star Seth MacFarlane's A Million Ways to Die in the West (in theaters today), Neil Patrick Harris, playing the douchebag proprietor of an Old West mustache shop, loses a . Yet hes afraid to stray from knuckle-dragging comedy, being obsessed with jokes about farts, diarrhea and genitals that splat more often than they zing. He's been dead for a few minutes. Directed by Seth MacFarlane. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, "A Million Ways to Die in the West" is a moronic 2. Albert: You know, there are a million ways to die in the west, Clinch. Susan Granger's review of 'A Million Ways to Die in the West' Depressed and discouraged by how his life is full of disappointment and how every instance of love is then destroyed and robbed from him, Albert finds comfort in Anna (Charlize Theron), a newcomer to his small village. I went to your farm the other day, and I saw one in the back yard, three way up on the ridge, two in the pond and one on the roof. A Million Ways to Die in the West goes south: review I read an article in the paper. Gunman at Fair in Final Scene: [after shooting someone] people die at the fair. 2014 Universal Studios. He gets no comfort or love from his girlfriend Louise (Amanda Seyfried), who breaks his heart by dumping him for moustachioed playboy Foy (the reliably funny Neil Patrick Harris). Albert, in turn, has to decide when he will become a real man in doing what he needs for what, or who, he truly wants in life. Basically, if it's not you, it wants to kill you, and just might succeed. His running gag about how people never smile in old-fashioned photographs might have seemed hilarious on paper but it certainly isnt on the screen. Albert: and all I had to do was distract you while the poison entered your bloodstream. As a cowardly farmer begins to fall for the mysterious new woman in town, he must put his newly found courage to the test when her husband, a notorious gun-slinger, announces his arrival. But when her husband, a notorious outlaw, arrives seeking revenge, the farmer must put his newfound courage to the test. Millie: You're okay with your girlfriend screwing, like, 15 different guys every day and getting paid to do it? By continuing, you agree to the Privacy Policy and Louise: You're not even a good sheep farmer, Albert. Amick Byram. MacFARLANE: It always depends on the gag, more than the person. Privacy Policy the Terms and Policies, and to receive email from Rotten Tomatoes. It's like they lose the power to innovate because they're staring at the stick hoop all day. Seth MacFarlane directs, produces, co-writes and plays the role of the cowardly sheep farmer Albert in A Million Ways to Die in the West. The only time it came out of nowhere was when Charlize said, "Hey, Ewan McGregor is doing a movie up the street!" His comedy might be irreverent, but the key to success in a musical number, MacFarlane says, is treating your material with the utmost seriousness. Albert: I know. Foy: My dear, they're practically Chinese! It won't be easy because there are a million ways to die in the west. Check out the interactive photo below for more details on the scene. A passive, shy sheep farmer tries to avoid conflict, a trait which has kept him alive but has now resulted in his girlfriend leaving him. When she shoots, short cuts to the gallery show 10 targets, but 12 shots are heard and Anna wins the prize for perfect score. . to colleagues, clients or customers, or inquire about We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly. 2014 | Maturity rating: 16+ | 1h 55m | Comedies. Everything out here that's not you wants to kill you, angry drunk people, hungry animals, outlaws, the doctor." Albert gives a breakdown of just a few of the million ways to die in the West. Tinker Bell and the Legend of the NeverBeast, Psycho (The Complete Original Motion Picture Score), A Million Ways To Die In the West (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack) [Deluxe Edition], Classic Soundtracks: Psycho (1960 Film Score), The Imitation Game (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack), The Magnificent Seven (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack), Hercules (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack), Cosmos: A SpaceTime Odyssey (Music from the Original TV Series), Vol. Development for A Million Ways to Die in the West began while MacFarlane and co-writers Sulkin and Wild were watching western movies during the development of Ted. A Million Ways To Die In the West (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack But jokes that weren't funny the first time aren't funny the sixth time, either. Isn't the fair on Saturday? Listen to A Million Ways To Die In the West (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack) by Joel McNeely on Apple Music. Listen to A Million Ways To Die In the West (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack) [Deluxe Edition] by Joel McNeely on Apple Music. There is a post-credits sequence involving the gunman at the fair from the final scene. A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014) - Plot Summary - IMDb Doc Brown: Nothing. 'A Million Ways to Die in the West': Inside the 'Mustache Song'. WARNING: The rest of this article contains minor spoilers for A Million Ways To Die In The West.If you haven't seen the film, read on at your own risk! Your sheep are everywhere. 11. STANDS4 LLC, 2023. After Seth MacFarlane's directorial debut Ted became one of the highest-grossing comedies ever made, he pretty much had the freedom to do whatever he wanted for his second movie. A Million Ways to Die in the West. - Original Motion Picture Soundtrack. Given his knack for singing the guy truly is multi-talented MacFarlane might have done better with following the musical comedy example of Paint Your Wagon rather than the slapstick of Mel Brooks for his western swing. Albert Stark, a mild mannered sheep farmer living outside of Old Stump, Arizona, hates everything about living in this time and place, especially the literally million ways he and others can easily die every day without a care, from shoot-outs, to bar brawls, to bites by rattlesnakes hiding in outhouses, to affliction by any one of numerous untreatable plagues and pestilences. Constantly terrified, the meek and lily-livered sheep farmer, Albert Stark, mainly struggles to stay out of trouble in dusty and dangerous 1880s Arizona, utterly convinced that everything out there can and will kill him. Anna: Oh God, that was never gonna work out anyway. Nov 20, 2014. Seth MacFarlane and Charlize Theron A MILLION WAYS TO DIE IN THE WEST All rights reserved. Louise was right, I can't keep track of them. Ted became one of the highest-grossing comedies ever made, he pretty much had the freedom to do whatever he wanted for his second movie. . There's, uh, famine, disease, gunfights And, uh, wild animals. A Million Ways to Die in the West: Official Clip - Sh**ty Showdown, A Million Ways to Die in the West: Official Clip - If You've Only Got a Moustache, A Million Ways to Die in the West: Official Clip - You Really Do Have a Death Wish. A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014) - IMDb Edward: Albert, he's dead. Opens Friday at major theatres 14A. If You've Only Got a Moustache. Edward: Man, I see kids everywhere with those stock hoops lately. Albert: [Before drinking from the bowl with the indian tribe] "Mila Kunis" - subtitled as "Fine". "A Million Ways to Die in the West" lacks the inspired lunacy of Mel Brooks' timeless Western, and won't last the ages as a seminal swipe at the genre, but at least MacFarlane gives the . If You've Only Got a Moustache. Is it possible to overthink moronic humour? Updated at 22nd July 2015 by rearranging the order of some entries: What is the Japanese language plot outline for A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)? But when her husband, a notorious outlaw, arrives seeking revenge, the farmer must put his newfound courage to the test. A 2021 study estimated more than a third of U.S. heat deaths each year can be attributed to human-caused global warming. The real peculiarity of A Million Ways To Die in The West and what a waste of a great titleis that it's got no good reason to be a Western in the first place, tongue-in-cheek or not. Opens Friday at major . As . Albert: Hey, sorry I killed your husband. Food was scarce, disease was rampant, and life was a daily struggle for survival. He was Methodist, I'm half Jewish. This is MacFarlanes first live-action lead role (he voiced the potty-mouthed bear in Ted) and for my money hes simply not great at being the leading man, coming off as more obnoxious than straight-up funny. The film received mixed reviews from critics, with criticism directed toward the film's length and MacFarlane's performance. A Million Ways to Die in the West | Fandango Well, did he at least hear all the smart things I said? Holy sh*t. To build a home and a life in this harsh, unforgiving country required that a man be bold, fearless, and tough as iron. Like. Me too. Albert: Okay, all right, get ready. Anna: Especially a smoking hot girl. Indian Chief: (after Albert's drug trip hallucination; in Athabaskan) Did you shoot the black condor and then kicked it in the balls? As a fan of Seth MacFarlane's series Family Guy and his feature film debut Ted, it's a shame to report that if you've seen the trailers for his new western comedy A . Albert: My worst fear is to OD on a recreational drug. Seth MacFarlane gets wild in new Western 'Million Ways to Die' R, 1 hr 55 min. Albert is befriended by Anna, along with her "brother" Lewis who are new to Old Stump, and she who is self-admittedly "smokin' hot". Now, I knew my aim wasn't good enough to hit you anywhere important. PREVIEW. Albert cant abide the mindless brutality, appalling hygiene and constant danger of life in Old Stump, the tumbleweed town he reluctantly calls home: Everything out here thats not you wants to kill you.. Seth MacFarlane, Seth MacFarlane's A Million Ways to Die in the West: A Novel. As a cowardly farmer begins to fall for the mysterious new woman in town, he must put his newly found courage to the test when her husband, a notorious gun-slinger, announces his arrival. Even as a self-described non-dancer, MacFarlane knows how to assemble the right team for a showstopper. It's 1882 in Arizona, the heartland of the American West. [Albert notices a glow from inside a building and peeks inside], [It is Doc Brown from "Back to the Future" working on the DeLorean, which is under a tarp; Doc notices Albert and covers up the car]. At least stay through the weekend. Seth MacFarlane's 'A Million Ways to Die in the West' - The New York Times CookiePolicy Cochise: There is an ancient proverb among my people: Sometimes the only way for a man to find true happiness is to take drugs in a group. Casting was done between December 2012 and March 2013. And, you know, the funny thing is, you don't even have to get bitten. It's got to be bad for their brains, right? I look like I have Parkinson's next to him. Albert: Oh. And, uh, wild animals. All Rights Reserved. It starts from a clever brain that ceased emotional development at age 12 and winds its way through to the orifice that emits the rudest noises and effluence. All rights reserved. Apple Inc. All A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014) - Plot - IMDb What Shows Have Been Renewed or Canceled. By Stephen Holden. A passive, shy sheep farmer tries to avoid conflict, a trait which has kept him alive but has now resulted in his girlfriend leaving him. The Best Quotes From 'A Million Ways to Die in the West' - Ranker 10. But when she leaves him for the more successful and handsome owner of a moustachery store, Albert returns to his lonely daily life of trying to avoid death. Narrator: Some people are born into the wrong time and place. PREVIEW. Maybe its his way of paying her back for mentioning her in his tasteless We Saw Your Boobs song at the Oscars. She neglects to tell him that shes married to the outlaw Clinch Leatherwood (Liam Neeson), an infamous and jealous gunslinger who regularly contributes to that million-ways body count. But, just how many ways to die are there in the west? 1:31. You know, like snakes. When a mysterious and beautiful woman rides into town, she helps him find his courage and they begin to fall in love. I'm about to shoot a full load at your cans. One father scolded his young son, "Take your hat off! The movies best lines are typically one-liners that rarely come from the lips of MacFarlane, who frequently oversells a joke when he isnt merely spouting obscenities. Monty Pythons Every Sperm is Sacred is sort of the best example I can think of, he said. He shows impeccable taste in how his movie looks (his DOP Michael Barrett makes Monument Valley a locale to die for) and also how it sounds. A Million Ways to Die in the West Quotes - Goodreads If You've Only Got a Moustache. All you need is a little bit of the venom introduced into your bloodstream and you're pretty much screwed. To order Albert, in turn, has to decide when he will become a real man in doing what he needs for what, or who, he truly wants in life. Albert: Oh. Then the mysterious Anna rides into town and captures Albert's interest and heart, but with her deadly . "A Million Ways to Die in the West Quotes." A Million Ways to Die in the West Review - IGN He is also not adept at shooting guns, which makes the death by shoot-outs even more likely, and is the reason why he cowers out of a shoot-out with someone to whom he owes money. A Million Ways to Die in the West: Official Clip - That's a Dollar Bill! Internet Service Terms Watch A Million Ways to Die in the West | Netflix Edward: Yeah. Albert is befriended by Anna, along with her "brother" Lewis who are new to Old Stump, and she who is self-admittedly "smokin' hot". Anna: [to Louise] How can you be so blind with eyes that big?! It just makes it that much funnier. Edward: Hey, dude, you really shouldn't drink and horse. Anyone can read Conversations, but to contribute, you should be a registered Torstar account holder. Albert: I'm not the hero. I suck at dancing. Albert: Yeah, I saw that. Anna: Yeah, well, I'll go with you. MacFarlane also relied on veteran singer and two-time Grammy nominee Amick Byram to do the vocals. Enter Anna, played by Charlize Theron, a regular Annie Oakley who takes a shine to Albert and wants to show him how to cock his pistol. The shooting gallery at the fair has only 10 targets (2 rows of five), but Anna shoots 12 for a perfect score. A Million Ways to Die in the West - Rotten Tomatoes Albert: "The American west is a terrible place and time. Here are your picks for the Best of the Capital Region 2023 Tap "Sign me up" below to receive our weekly newsletter He followed up Ted with 2014's A Million Ways to Die in the West, a spoof of westerns pointing out just how bleak and unromantic life in the Old West would've been.. RELATED: 10 Funniest Quotes From Ted While A Million Ways to Die in the West was nowhere . Anna: Yeah, but those are quarter loads. In Seth MacFarlane's A Million Ways to Die in the West, Neil Patrick Harris takes center stage for one of the film's best sequences the highly choreographed and riotously funny "Mustache . A Million Ways to Die in the West, Seth MacFarlane's follow-up to Ted, has a solid cast and holds promise, but the trailers simply gave all the best jokes away. Stream songs including "A Million Ways To Die", "Main Title" and more. Support. A Million Ways to Die in the West rides into theaters . For a few chuckles more. A Million Ways to Die in the West is not for everyone. George Stark: [Farts] That came out of my penis! As a very loose rendition of historical fiction, it requires an ability to enjoy the suspension of belief in order to appreciate the humor, as well as an ability to look past the few offensive remarks to that are both poignant stabs at the time period as well as timely interpretations of . Albert: No, no, no, no! Set in 1882 in the American west, Albert is a lowly farmer with a nice girlfriend. These are full loads. See production, box office & company info.

Can Work Permit Holder Register Marriage In Singapore, Does Medicaid Cover Pet Scans, Bradley F Bryant Lexington, Ky, Northwestern University Volleyball Roster, Articles A

a million ways to die in the west mustache quotes